Edinburgh - The Great Escape
"I would rather wake up in the middle of nowhere than in any city on earth" Steve McQueen
A few days in an alpha-city like London gives me an overwhelming need to starfish in a green space, where grey doesn't exist, where a briefcase is to a field as a tent is to the City: useless. If you get similarly claustrophobic then Edinburgh is one of the only cities for you. For Edinburgh is built on hills – most of which stay green and starfish friendly.
The only way to explore Edinburgh is to use your feet. Appreciate the ups and downs. Without them, you'd be in Belgium. And you'd never get the views that make this city beautiful. The best views are all free. The Edinburgh Castle entrance (£13 to take a tour inside the castle, free entry St Andrews Day, 30 November) will take your eye across to the stretch of sea that is the firth of forth, and the forth road bridge.
It is just a bridge, as surely as the Golden Gate is just a bridge. But imagine the workers constantly painting the forth bridge, every hour of every day, in order to stop it from rusting into the sea. Now it is pretty impressive. Between the sea and the castle is a great expanse of Georgian buildings perched prettily next to each other, in round rows and great long streets.
It is an easy thirty minute walk to the top of Arthurs Seat, a dormant volcano towering over the Scottish Parliament, where you can see the whole city. If you're imagining you're a rock climber on the way up, snoozing in crevises on the way, it might take close to two hours to get to the peak. Go at sunset or sunrise.
From Arthurs Seat you'll see Princes Street Gardens, a manicured park lying between the castle and Edinburgh's main shopping thoroughfare - Princes Street. The park itself has great knolls for rolling down as fast as you can.
Carlton Hill, five minutes walk from the park, has more quirks than a castle built on a volcano. As well as a half-built replica of the Acropolis, there is a skinny-looking tower that you can climb, modelled on Nelson's telescope. On 30 April, Carlton Hill becomes the best place in Europe, in a festival befitting the buildings. The Beltane Fire Festival is an homage to an old Gaellic tradition of marking the beginning of summer by, well, by sacrificing a virgin.
The sacrifice is, of course, only symbollic nowadays. But you still feel like you're in Narnia, as even the rubbish collectors are dressed up with horns and hunched backs. 12,000 revellers from around the world come to have some drinks, see lots of fire throwing, painted boobs and bits, and maybe get naked themselves. It is the sixties, it is stonehenge. It is archaic, and new age all at once. Last year I got 'married' under the Acropolis to a stoned Kiwi. Anything can happen, and you must go at least once in your life. Carlton Hill has some pretty nice views across to the castle and Arthurs Seat too. This is where you will get your classic panorama shot of Edinburgh.
Aside from its hills - if you have heard anything about Edinburgh already, it might be that it is tangibly wealthy in a pearls and pashminas, stuck in the early 90s kind of way. Or you may know it as the setting for Trainspotting, the film that defined a smackhead generation.
Both are Edinburgh, but visiting or even living in the city you'll probably only see pearls. This is because unlike most cities, where inner-city estates shimmy against penthouse apartments, making everyone feel uncomfortable, the whole of central Edinburgh is unapologetically middle-class. Only far down towards the docks will you find poorer estates like Leith. How depressing, that the poverty rampant in Edinburgh is so invisible. Without it in our face, we cannot be cajoled into doing something about it.
So go to Leith, by walking to the end of east Princes Street and down Leith walk. Don't worry, there is a kitsch little bar here called Roseleaf (23-24 Sandport Place, EH6 6EW) where you will get pot-tails, or cocktails in mismatching teapots. Its inevitable, as the hip hangouts came to the home of Trainspotting, and turned Leith into a first year art student's dream, the men with money in their pocket have put property prices up and made Leith a little...beige. Oh well, at least that means there's plenty of Michelin restaurants down by the docks if you have the money.
If you don't have the money, then I promise you need no more than £10 in your pocket to fall in love with this city. Edinburgh is perfect for mooching around. On one of the oldest streets in Edinburgh, drop into the vintage shop Armstrongs at the pretty Grassmarket, 5 minutes walk from the castle. Have fun with fur coats and retro glasses, before crossing the road to Steak and Mussels (110 West Bow, Grassmarket), where the £7.50 lunch menu gets you treats such as crayfish and black pudding, or a 5oz Scottish sirloin. The Outsider (15-15 George IV Bridge) is a trendier eat with similar prices.
But my favourite place is The Forest Cafe (3 Bristo Place), if only because I'm still trying to decide if this hippie joint is for real. Cafe/artspace/music venue, the vegetarian fare depends on which volunteer staff are cooking that day, and so the food might be great or merely average. The mismatched sofas and chairs are falling apart in a good way, and you can tell its just round the corner from Edinburgh University by its artistically unwashed clientele. But wait, did that Amnesty International letter-writer have a naturally booming voice, or was he discussing Burma so loudly in order to try and impress the other patrons? Was the Chomsky reader in the corner just looking around to see whose pseudo-intellectual eye she had caught? Would she rather be reading Mills and Boon? Go along and decide for yourself, it's good fun.
For a rainy day, try the Brass Monkey pub on 14 Drummond Street. A great old pub in its own right, at 3pm every day it becomes spectacular - as a back room filled with a cushion-covered bed that fits over twenty people shows an iconic film for free. Come out of the Brass Monkey, ready for your dinner, and go to City Restaurant (35 Nicholson Street) which does the best battered mars bar in the city for about a pound.
Out of the Old Town and into the New. The buildings mirror its people: stately and beautiful, and even if you've only got a couple of quid on you, you can live like Edwina and Patsy in Absolutely Fabulous and lunch at Harvey Nics (30-34 St Andrews Square). It's just that you'll only be able to afford chips with aioli. Never mind, there will probably be some moreish free tasters at its delicatessen.
Aside from people watching, the best attraction in New Town is the Scottish National Gallery of Modern Art (1 Queen Street, EH2 1JD). The permanent collection has inspiring pieces by the likes of Joan Miro, and its rolling exhibitions have recently included some of today’s most controversial artists, such as Tracey Emin and Damien Hirst. If you're unimpressed by the art, the cheese platter at the downstairs cafe will surely placate you as it is truly a masterpiece.
With its great eats, great people, and great views, if Steve McQueen had ever visited Edinburgh he would never want to make a great escape to the middle of nowhere again.
- Ailsa Ross
No comments were found


