Top 10 Travel Tips - December 2007
Top Ten Tips for Getting Some Kip at 33,000 Feet
Cheaper air fares, better security and the internet might make globe trotting easier than ever but without the next generation of the Concorde, long nights on international flights and an uncomfortable, neck cricking reality. That's why I put together the restful traveller's equivalent to the Karma Sutra – the ten best positions and tips for your international, unconscious regeneration.
1. Location Location Location
If you make a habit of fighting over those front row seats with extra leg room and fold out TVs then stop! Going after these locations – hammer and tongue will more than likely guarantee a prime position next to a screaming baby, incapable of normalising the pressure in its little head by swallowing. You will also more than likely be in a position where you can enjoy the fresh aromas that emanate from a water free toilet. Add passengers queuing for the afore mentioned dungeon of smells and young couples seeking membership in that exclusive mile high club, and you've got a bad piece of real estate. Instead fight for the seats half way down the plane – next to the emergency exits and the kitchen. There are no walls to attach baby cots to here, you are equidistant from the two love dungeons, you get served first on the trolley rounds and it's easier to sleep with extra leg room.
2. Here's Johnny
If you're not content with just one seat to sprawl over then here's a tip for freeing up the one next to you. When a flatulent, hyperactive jet setter inevitably sits down next to you, screw in a smile, be super nice and demand to know everything about their life. The trick is not to give them enough time to answer and be relentless in your barrage of questions. With any luck they'll excuse themselves for a toilet trip after the seat belt sign goes off and won't come back. If that doesn't work warn them that you're just getting over a nasty case of scabies and then offer them your blanket. Add to that the belief that you don't think you're still infectious, a few details of how voracious the mites were and then start scratching. Tales of crab infested escapades work just as well too.
3. Parasympathetic Digestive Systems
Here comes the science. Basically you feel tired after a meal because your body is diverting energy away from normal functions and towards the digestion of what you just put in your stomach. Your best bet for a timetabled snooze on a flight is therefore just after the micro-waved meal is served. Your body also diverts energy away from your central heating system during this process to be sure to make the most of the complimentary blankets - that otherwise take up valuable seat space. As a prelude to this scheduled sleep, make sure you wear your body out before the flight by exercising and by avoiding excessive unconsciousness. A lie in always seems like a good idea but if you're serious about sky high sleep, it defeats the object.
4. Meditative Thoughts
If you're not adverse to new age mental work outs then why not try a relaxing breathing technique – in your seat? Place your right forefinger and your right middle finger in the palm of your right hand. Close your eyes, empty your lungs and the place your right thumb on your right nostril. Inhale through your left nostril, hold your breath, take your thumb away and then block your left nostril with your two free fingers. Exhale through your right nostril. Alternate this procedure for a few minutes, keeping your eyes closed. After a few rounds you should feel calm and centred enough to filter out the background noise and drift off into the land of nod. If however you're not the meditative type, you can always ask your doctor for some Valium!
5. Lay Down The Ground Rules
If you aren't fortunate enough to get an aisle to yourself, it's important that your journey companions understand the way that it's going to be. To get a good sleep it's vital for them to know that you plan to ignore them and dream about your destination, the fun you will have there and the drinks that will be drunk. These ground rules eliminate awkward and needless conversations with strangers and if your conversational recipient happens to be a shiny happy person, they might even fend off the flight attendants when they loudly offer you some warm nuts. You don't have to be a dominatrix but a firm hand never hurts.
6. Backpacker Backs
If you're lucky enough to fly with an airline that hasn't tightened its economising belt to the point where pillows are thrown out of the window, make the most of these free synthetic fibres. Place one of these disposable, environmentally unfriendly wonders at the base of your spine - after you've reclined your chair and irritated the hell out of the guy behind you. This is good for stretching out your back, alleviating tension and when you become accustomed to the sensation, it's kind of comfy too. People actually become shorter throughout the day as gravity gradually compresses their spines - it's only at night when you lay horizontally that you stretch out to your full height. Horizontal is obviously a problem in economised space so this tip is your best alternative.
7. Ditch the DVDs
In flight entertainment is essential for travellers who have no intention of nodding off on long haul flights. If however you are serious about sleep then make a point of avoiding the multi media fun on your individually sized TV screens. The images flashing in front of your corneas stimulate your brain and make it that much harder to enter the land of nod. Instead pull out a good old book and read a chapter or two. This focuses your mind and the constant light levels won't hyper-stimulate your sleep deprived synapses. If you're not sure what to pick up from the book store - to make your snore, then check out the Top 5 Reads in December. The story lines aren't snooze-fests, but you get the idea.
8. Sleeping Cycles
Human's regenerate best when they have uninterrupted blocks of sleep. You body roughly breaks down sleep into chunks of about 90 minutes at a time. If you manage to get one or two of these on a long flight then you should arrive at your destination looking impossibly fresh and radiant - while your companions rock up with bags on their backs and under their eyes. Every sleep cycle contains three different phases so in one block of 90 minutes you experience 65 minutes of normal sleep, 20 minutes of REM - dream sleep and a concluding five minutes of non-REM sleep. People are normally in a short, groggy, almost conscious twilight zone between these cycles before then they immediately enter another 90 minute block.
9. Rise and Shine
The odds are that you belong to the 99.9% of the population who wake up and hate the world before becoming resentful at the cruel contrast between bed and the torment of your daily routine. In other words the way you wake up is essential to the day you have and this applies on planes too. It might not be possible to re-enter the world of conscious citizens with a gradual, good mood inducing sunrise but it possible to minimise arrival-lounge grumpiness by setting an alarm clock. Set your subconscious arousal devises to stun you – about 45 minutes before you land. This gives you enough time to filter the sleepiness out of your body, re-hydrate and stretch out you limber limbs.
10. Virgin Drinks
Don't drink yourself into oblivion just because it's an open bar. Height means pressure and pressure means funky goings on in your blood stream. You become inebriated at a greater rate than you do on the ground and you become hung over a whole lot faster too. Apart from the binge sessions that overload your consciousness for a few horrific, blacked out hours, alcohol is not an aid to sleep. Once it clears your system it causes insomnia and new studies now show that alcohol messes up your body's ability to processes glucose. Basically if you drink too much - the quality of your sleep is reduced and your blood sugar levels are raised. Anything more than 7oz (two glasses of wine a day) is bad for you, your sleep cycles and your blood sugar.
- Rob Savage
