Americans Abroad
Community is a big deal for ex-pats. Being a part of one creates friendship, opens doors to new careers and gives everyone in it that important sense of belonging, so here with his insider tips on creating one from scratch is Ned Phillips.
Story Highlights
- What’s Around You
- Why We Need Communities
- Top Spots For Meeting People
- Jim Haynes
What’s Around You
I’m sitting in my flat in Paris. It’s on the right bank, just north of the islands in the fourth arrondissement ‐ the Marais. My neighbour Sadie is across the courtyard, also on the sixth floor, editing photographs with her tall, blond Swedish friend Justine. She’s invited me to her gallery opening. I am of course sold on the idea, but when she tells me of the complimentary champagne and hors d’oeuvres it ensures that my entourage will be in tow. Out the window, the sturdy bell towers of Notre Dame sit steadily to the south and further west, there’s the comforting rotating beacon of the Eiffel Tower.
Many aspects of travel are fleeting. You see amazing things that vanish as quickly as they appear. You meet incredible people who leave your life faster than they entered. While these brief moments strung together weave an incredible and unforgettable tapestry, setting up a comfortable and fulfilling life abroad takes more.
Why We Need Communities
Humans are social creatures. We live in groups, in organized networks ‐ we build communities. A community can be as small as the floor of your apartment building or as large as the metropolis you live in. As a member of a community you are part of a larger, functioning organism. Aside from serving as a support system, the community you build provides you with the day‐to‐day things you need. Your interactions cultivate trust, mutual benefit and friendship. For example, Sadie gave me access to her wireless Internet in exchange for help learning her video editing software. Everybody’s winning.
Top Spots For Meeting People
I’m living here in Paris, working and building a community. It’s important to realize that there are others out there who are looking for connections and relationships too. Churches, schools and other organizations have bulletin boards where people post and exchange information about housing, roommates, employment and even search for meet ups where they can make new friends, and practice their language skills.
When I was studying in Spain I met one of my best friends through a random language practicum. I received a call on my cell phone from a girl named Iris. She wanted to rendezvous and practice her English while I worked on my Spanish. We met at the appointed time, in front of the Catedral Vieja and I was floored instantly – she was tall and lean, with long curly black hair, and sea green eyes! She was gorgeous and I paced around in circles nervously, trying to think of something to say before introducing myself. We ended up strolling around Salamanca for hours, through the Plaza Mayor and across the Puente Romano, talking about Pedro Almodovar and why Beckham was her favourite soccer player. It turns out she only chose my name and number from the list because she thought I was a girl but regardless, the connection was made, and the relationship forged.
Jim Haynes
There are also individuals within the community who want to reach out and bring people together. One such man lives in Paris and his name is Jim Haynes, an old hippy artist who’s been hosting dinner parties at his home for over 30 years. I first heard about this guy on the NPR show ‐ All Things Considered ‐ when he read his essay This I Believe. I mingled at the party, which spilled out into the garden and within 30 minutes I’d met travellers, students studying abroad, teachers, lawyers who quit their jobs to become writers, stage directors, bioengineers and opera singers.
I was introduced to a woman who had been the secretary of UNESCO for fifty years and I met Dawn from New York who runs a glassblowing institution in Brooklyn. She told me that she studied ceramics but enjoyed glass as well because they are both art of the fire. Clara was a sculptor, who lives a few doors down from Jim, working in clay and bronze. She told me about the history of the building, how it was built in 1900 for the Universal Exposition as a space for artists, how the ceilings were tall to accommodate the massive works that were being created and how all the windows face north, to keep the light even throughout the day. I met a photographer from Berlin who wanted to store some of his gear at my place in exchange for free accommodation in his home.
Expose yourself to the people and opportunities that surround you. Soon enough neighbours aren’t knocking on your door because the stereo is too loud ‐ they just want to join the party. Live with an open mind, an open heart and an open door. If you ever find yourself in Paris, you’re always welcome around my table.
‐ Ned Phillips
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